Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
