Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
