My friends, they love my intelligence
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
