I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize