she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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