would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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