Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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