your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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