Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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