I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
