Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
