I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
