I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
