he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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