do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
