yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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