Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize