She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
