Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
