If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
