all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
