you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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