I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
