You work out of a Hotel?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
