I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My pussy is not your playground.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
