I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You should frame my arrest warrant.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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