So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize