I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
