my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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