I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
