Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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