so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
