I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
