i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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