yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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