Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
