i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
