There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
