tell your sister to shave her snatch
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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