His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
