I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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