so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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