Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
