I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
