We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
