I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
