I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
