When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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