Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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