i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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