girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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