Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize