I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
