mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
