eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize