he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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