You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize