Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
