Girls should come with a carfax report
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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