Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
