Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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