If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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