someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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