I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
